This conversation happened in my kitchen yesterday between my partner and I... (I just had to preserve this gem somewhere. Ha!)
Him: *walks into the kitchen* Are you ready to go? Whoa! What smells so weird in here? It smells like - *sniffs* - something. It smells like... It smells like stale sex.
Me: Um......................................... *blink*blink*blink*
Him: Is it you? *comes closer to presumably sniff me*
Me: Yes, yup. I smell like stale sex. All the time.
Him: *slyly, sarcastically* What did you do today?
Me: Ha! You know, in all of my spare time I had all the stale sex that I could.
Him: *still sniffing* What is that?
Me: *still unsure if I want to help someone identify an odour that smells like stale sex, ever, in my life*
Him: No, seriously. Where is that coming from?
Me: Um, I just emptied the garbage. (Please tell me my kitchen does not smell like stale sex all the time?!?!)
Him: No. It's right here. By you.
Me: Great. Do I just walk around everyday, smelling like stale sex? That's fantastic. Is it my hair?
Him: *sniffs hair* Nope. But it's definitely right here.
Me: Is it this? *opens a bottle of kombucha that I'd been drinking*
Him: Yes! That's it! Ugh! How do you drink that stuff? It smells like -
Me: Like stale sex? *sigh* Let's go.
I am not sure what this says about the 2 of us as human beings but it made me wonder if 'stale sex' should be a new kombucha flavour. I think yes.
