It is another summer weekend here in southwestern Ontario. If you were out in a big city at all on Saturday or Sunday morning you might think that you saw something. But you didn't. Because what you thought you saw, doesn't exist. It isn't true, it is not a real thing and if you imagined that you saw it that just proves that you are a misogynistic, sexist, damaging-myth perpetuating asshole.
This thing that doesn't exist is...
The "walk of shame".
Nope. If you think you saw a person performing this act, what you actually saw was an abominable snow man, a yeti, or perhaps the Loch Ness Monster. <---- This one would be true especially if you were by water.
This cultural stigma is almost always aimed at women. Because there is a presumption of shame if it is suspected that a woman has - gasp! - consented to sexual relations. This is suspected when an asshole person sees a woman making her way back to her dorm room, waiting at a bus stop in the city, walking some city blocks, all in clothing that indicates that she wore them out to party the night before and is now making her way back home. I am positive that we all pass a lot of the male species performing this presumed shameful walk, we just don't recognize it because they look like regular people, like their regular selves. (This opens this discussion up to another conversation about society's pressure and expectations on women to look a certain way when "going out". To present a certain level of aesthetically pleasing, appearance effort. After all, a vagina comes with a requirement to look like you care about yourself, goddammit. Pretty is the rent women pay to exist.
......................That should be a conversation in another post, because I could digress all. day. long.) And these male species that we pass performing this certain walk? Well, they don't even know they should be ashamed at all. Because society hasn't told them that they should.
So, why do we pin all of the shame of a sexual encounter (even a supposed one!) on the female side of the equation? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?! Why do we hold women primarily responsible for the sexual morality of everyone in this fucked up Western culture?
STOP IT!
This mindset is helping to create and perpetuate a horrible phenom that is referred to as 'rape culture'. This is proving over and over again to be a deadly, dangerous thing for the daughters of our culture. It is not doing any services to our sons, either.
Here is what we can do about this: if you are out early on a weekend morning, and you see someone that you suspect is performing this so-called 'walk of shame', recognize that you are judging someone and presuming of their sexual morality solely based on their appearance. Something that is absolutely none of your business. Whatsoever. Like, at all. Once you've realized what a sexist fuckwit you are, you can do one of two things (or both, if you are really an asshole): 1. crotch punch yourself and move on with your life, worrying only about your own morals, or, 2. just move the fuck on with your life. Drive away. Walk away. Carry on with your day exactly as you had planned. Knowing that what someone may or may not have done the night before with their own genitals has nothing to do with you. Let someone walk home from wherever they were, in whatever they want, in peace.
Women deserve to be left alone to make their own sexual choices, without the offer of patronizing hand holding from presumed morally superior asshats. Let a girl walk without shame!
Special shout-out to celebrities that are using their bigger platform to bring awareness to these issues and not wallflower themselves in the face of a frightening culture. Amber Rose is one that uses her voice for this cause and has started a movement for it. If you know of others, feel free to post them in the comments. :)
http://www.amberroseslutwalk.com/
