Nourishing my brain cells = Feeding my passions

Here's what I've been keeping myself busy with lately:

The chemistry of attraction  -  tricky, even!  *wink*wink*

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704681904576313243579677316.html?mod=googlenews_wsj

 Ingredients of sunblock/screen actually accelerating the growth of cancer?

http://www.aolnews.com/2010/05/24/study-many-sunscreens-may-be-accelerating-cancer/

Mamas and Babies blog fills us in on the 'illusions of birth control'.

http://mamasandbabies.blogspot.com/2010/12/illusion-of-birth-control.html

Strengthening pelvic muscles  -  without start-stop-start-stop-start-stop tinkling!  *giggle*

http://misskalypso.wordpress.com/2011/04/16/strengthen-those-pelvic-floors-without-kegals/

The history and validity of the PAP Smear.  For one, does 'smear' really have to be in the title?  And, whoever invented that speculum was, hopefully, shot!  

http://www.thedoctorsdoctor.com/labtests/THE_PAP.HTM

The 'risks' of babywearing...  ;-)

http://www.sausagemama.com/the-risks/

It may look pretty, but - watch out!  The risks of painting your face everyday!

http://environmentaldefence.ca/articles/lab-tests-find-toxic-heavy-metals-in-makeup-canadian-women-wear-every-day

This blows my mind!  If she can do it, why are conscious, healthy, able-bodied women not given a chance????????? *sigh*

http://blogs.babble.com/being-pregnant/2011/05/13/can-you-vaginally-give-birth-in-a-coma/

So, that's what's been keeping my mind busy the last few days.  And now, I have them safely stored somewhere so I can refer back to them when I need to!  *ulterior motive slipping out there*

This One's For the Girls...

Dear Girls,

Period.

Menstruation.

Moon cycle.

Monthly flow.

(And then there's all the awful ones - like referring to it as a being.  "Aunt Flow", "Monthly Friend"...  Ew!)

What do you use?  What works?  What have you tried?  What will you give your daughter/s when their bodies answer the call of Nature and become women?
 I started when I was 12 and used god-awful pads for years!  Gah!  They're big, clumsy, messy, feel like diapers and can we just say leakage?????????  Is this the best I'll have to offer my daughter?  She is 11, btw, so her time is coming - way sooner than I'd like!  So, I've recently started searching for alternative products to use.  Alternative to pads & tampons.  
I'll admit, although I am an avid recycling/reusing freak I fall back to tampons.  (I know, I know.  I am cringing at myself right now!)  I have tried the Diva Cup, but, after 3 good sized babies, my pelvic floor needs some - ahem - 'personal' training.  So that is being taken care of!  *wink*  Because of weakened muscles I cannot get the cup to stay in place.  I'm not giving up on it yet!  
I recently got a package of 'Instead'.  These are a menstrual cup that can be reusable.  They seem very prone to leaking, as there is not suction involved.  They are supposed to be inserted  to your cervix, down under the rim of the cervix and 'hook' around the back to stay in place.  If you're like me, trying to picture when it is to the cervix, when it is around the cervix & actually in place is like blindly trying to find your way out of a maze!  Possibly leading other blind people!  Also being coached by blind people!  Yeah.  You get the point!  How am I supposed to tell?  I know when it isn't around the cervix, because it shifts & leaks!  I've watched several videos on youtube giving very descriptive directions on how to insert, feel when it's in place & 'retrieve' it to empty.  I'm sorry but a 'bulge' in a glass tube does NOT tell me where my very own cervix is & how to tell when the cup is near it/under it/around it correctly!  
So, to sum up...  Research still under way!  he he he
The benefits of finding & using feminine products that are reusable is massive!  Bottom line, it means each one of us girls is putting little-to-no waste into the environment each month.  And passing that consciousness on to our daughters...  Massiveness amplified!  
Here's why we need to be aware of tossing what may seem like "little", "harmless" products into traditional waste removal systems:

http://www.ecomall.com/greenshopping/dc.htm

 80 million women (in 2007) potentially using disposable products.  *gulp*  
With an approximate 41 year span of menstruating it is about high time that we women start demanding products that work, that aren't harmful to our bodies or the environment.  

I've asked the wise women, that I'm wise enough to surround myself with!, to point me in any direction that they know of!
Here is what I've come across so far:


http://menstrualcupinfo.wordpress.com/lunette-review/
(This site is run by a woman who personally tries different menstrual cups & such and then blogs about her experience.  She sells them, too.  I'm still weeding my way through all her reviews & personal story!)

http://menstrualcups.friendhood.net/
(This is a discussion site to get/give pointers, tips, advice on all things menstruation & products.  I made a screen name today & still have to get on & find my way through the vast amount of threads & info!  Whew!)

As women we owe our Mother Earth the respect of finding ways to not have our Moon Blood poison her, clutter her!  Our cycles ebb & flow with the natural rhythms of the Earth.  Enabling us to procreate, bring new life onto this Planet.  I wish to honour her with these rhythms and, having brought forth daughters, I wish to teach them to honour her in the same way.  

Girls, we are at least 80 million strong!  With those numbers, if enough of us turn from what's become mainstream & traditional, we can force manufacturers to put some time/energy/funding behind making & marketing reliable alternatives!  Let's hear it for the girls!  *wink*

The "Perfect" Woman

 Another cut & paste.  I am not talented enough to blog in two places at once!  ;-)  

The idea of perfection has been weighing heavily on my mind lately.  We women are such harsh critics when it comes to ourselves (inner & outer) and what we consider 'perfect'.  Why is this?  Why do we judge our bodies based on what someone else has decided is the perfect form?  Why do we deny our exquisite uniqueness in favour of fitting into a societal mold for womankind?  

The pursuit of perfection often comes with a lot of expectations.  Expectations placed on ourselves, by those around us, by society.  Expectations about how we look, behave, our parenting, our lifestyle.  Often we feel a duty to shoulder these responsibilities and stay strong under the crushing pressure.  

What if we could step back and take a breather?  Learn to accept our bodies and selves for what and who it truly is?  Learn to view ourselves from a relaxed vantage point instead of racing to force ourselves into someone's ideals.  Learn to love ourselves - right where we are, just how we are.  

Where would this monumental shift in womankind take the world? 


I've had a blog about perfection & the true cost to women brewing for a while now. I started writing it on here & didn't like the way it was looking. So I saved it to a file, thinking I'd come back to it later. It kept staring at me - making me feel less than perect for not finishing it faster! LOL So I deleted it. BUT! This subject is continually coming up in my life, reading, blogs I follow, women I talk to. So I am listening! I am re-opening that file that's haunting me!
This is something I came across today. So powerful I cannot ignore it's presence or the ripple it started in my heart! It's from a website called www.theshapeofamother.com. It's a woman's (Rosie) comment to someone else's pic or comment. The fab woman who runs the website loved it so much she reposted it on facebook. I never would have seen it otherwise! (You see now why I'm really starting to feel haunted by this subject???????? )
Here are Rosie's comments (copied & pasted):

http://theshapeofamother.com/blog/a-...oday-by-rosie/

Hear them - really hear them. And then honestly ask yourself what kind of a lens you see through to judge your body & inner self. And then honestly answer yourself! Who's expectations are you trying to live up to? Your own? Society's? Your partner's? Other women's? There is so much complex emotion to how we view ourselves!
It's no wonder men are so terrified of the question "do I look fat in this?"!!!!!! They are (sometimes - he he he) smarter than we give them credit for! They realize that it's a completely loaded question! Because it totally is! The pants, the dress, the top - all just the excuse to ask if we're fat. If he's judging our appearance as we are. If we meet his expectations. If he'll be embarrassed to be seen publicly with us. If he notices the bulges or rolls that we do. If he's proud that you'll be on his arm!
It's a sly way for our insecurity to reassure itself that you aren't really as bad as you think you are, don't look as bad as you feel, shouldn't judge yourself as harshly as you are... I realize that I don't ask hubby this question anymore. And that realization came with the terror that it's because I answer it in my head now! Yikes! My inner judgment is much harsher than he would ever be! I'm not sure which is more unhealthy - relying on his opinion of me to boost my morale or relying on my own! Until my own is in better shape, of course!
It's a cycle I'm stuck in - and have been for pretty much my whole womanhood. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...
I'm on a journey to help myself lighten up on - well, myself. To figure out where my judgments of myself come from, where formed. Whose opinion am I using? Who's definition of perfect am I living by? When I'm on these journeys I tend to drag along all the women in my life!
Welcome to that club! LOL!
I hope you're ready for this because I am listening to the Universe now!

"This is the hardest thing"

This is a third-hand post!  I read this beautifully written account of motherhood on a friend's blog, who 'borrowed' it from her friend's blog!  

I thought it so poignant & well written.  What a sweet peek inside the heart of motherhood!    

I've heard said that motherhood is like having your heart taken from your body & sent walking out in the world.  It's true!  It goes so much deeper than heart though.  It's the very cells & fibres of your being - your soul - your blood flowing apart from you.  There's an acute awareness of this life being in the world.  You can feel them.  You can sense them.  You know them. 

Enough of my thoughts!  Here is the blog:

I wrote this whilst in the throes of the most intense “morning” (ha!) sickness I have ever experienced. I wrote it because while flopped over on the floor in front of the bathroom waiting for the inevitable, I had a crazy thought.

This is the hardest thing I have EVER done.

And of course, it isn’t. It just felt that way. I know because I’ve already been here, in the exact same spot. In the exact same position. Thinking the exact same thing.

And I have thought it many times since.

Like during all 30 hours of my first child’s labour. During all 3 hours of fruitless pushing. When they told me he was stuck and I required an emergency c-section. That was the hardest thing I had ever done. For a while. Until he was 5 months old and still hadn’t gone a single night without waking every 15 minutes. And I lay on the floor beside his crib, not wanting to bother going back to bed. Surely that was the hardest. Wrong again.

There were terrible twos and eye teeth and potty training and the miscarriage I had before this current pregnancy. All difficult. But still not the hardest.

I know because as hard as those things were, I’ve yet to experience the first day of school. And the first day my child comes home with a black eye from the bully down the street. The first time he drives off in my car for a night out with his buddies. I know that it will never really end.

The rest of my life is going to be hardest thing I’ve ever done. Only to be outdone by the next thing, and the next, as it is for all mothers.

So, are we nuts? Gluttons for punishment? Stubbornly seeking ever-elusive glory? No. I sat there, hunched over on the floor, trying to figure it out. And eventually it came to me.

Paradoxically, this “hardest thing I’ve ever done” is also the easiest. Easy because although I know what’s coming I plow through it anyway. Willingly, even.

Easy because it stems from love. Love that is immeasurable, inexplicable and powerful- far more powerful than this temporary bout of nausea. It comes so naturally I don’t think anything is this world could be more precious or more pure, and I own it. And it owns me. And that’s the rest of my life in a nutshell, because I am a mother.

So bring it on- all the excruciating, beautiful things that are to come. I’m ready. Bring on the ice chips and the arrowroots, the sleepless nights and the tears. I’m willing.

Although I sometimes have these weak little moments (who doesn’t, anyway?), I’m also very able.

– By Sara

 I define motherhood as the hugest, hardest, bravest, most powerful journey an extremely fragile being will ever embark upon. 

Motherhood makes us strong, while making us incredibly vulnerable.
Motherhood brings us life, while  forcing us to die to ourselves.
Motherhood causes us to think of the worst grief imaginable, while experiencing the most incredible happiness.
Motherhood reshapes our bodies, while remaking our souls.

When we walk the tightrope of motherhood we know that any slip can cause us immeasurable grief & heartache.  We're guaranteed nothing in this life.  Yet we bravely face that  knowledge everyday just to experience the immeasurable joy & love that it fills our beings with!  


So, in the words of this mysterious Sara...


I'm willing!  I've also discovered about myself that I am able! 
 

The Marks of Motherhood...

Are they scars?  Are they badges of honour?  

Ah, the marks of motherhood!

Motherhood changes our bodies as it changes our hearts, minds & souls.  And, most of us, wear our motherhood on our bodies everyday.  

The excitement of growing & nurturing new life quickly fades once that life is in our arms, leaving our bodies stretched, marked, scarred & alien to us.  There are those of us that seem to snap right back to amazing shape, and there are those of us that make slower (seemingly unfair) progress.  After sore nipples & lack of sleep, it's the most common thing I hear new mothers complain about.  I think we truly forget that all that was misplaced & enlarged in there has to go back into place & shrink.  It's such a remarkable, complicated process. 

We women are such fickle beings!  We can go from the elation & pride we feel at the birth process our bodies just went through, to utter despair at the stretch marks left behind or the "excess" that happens when we sit.  Oh, if only we could lighten up on ourselves, Girls!  It's so difficult to step outside of the trap that our minds can become and see ourselves as we truly are.  The givers of life - the nurturing spirits that we house inside our beings.  

Yes, our bodies change.  We may have saggy skin & stretch marks.  But we have bellies that expand - to create new life; breasts that enlarge - to nourish that life; thighs that strengthen - to carry us about our life and hearts & souls that grow immeasurably! 

Here is a website that women can go to, where other women honestly acknowledge their true bodies.  It's a beautiful thing!  

http://theshapeofamother.com/

Sunshine & Tears

So I blog on a site for work and that one is taking precedence right now.  But, there is no rule that I cannot share what I blog about there on here, right?!  
I came across a quote this morning that slapped me in the face, opened my eyes, shined a light on an area of my life that I've been being made aware of in big ways lately!  
So here is what happened when I read the quote, fell in love with it & blogged about it.


I found a quote that I love, LOVE, *LOVE*! Thought I'd share it here.


Count your days by smiles, not tears. Count your nights by stars, not shadows. Count your age by friends, not years. ~ Early American Toast


Wise words to live by! Alas, I am NOT good at this. I am (and always have been) a glass-half-empty kind of girl! I muddle along in a fog of pessimism, negativity & with sharp critiques ready on my tongue!
*sigh*
My poor, poor family.
My dear hubby though (who is incredibly sensitive to constant negativity!) is determined to help us both change! It grieves us both that we never discuss our parenting until one of us blows at the other one about what they are doing wrong! We never discuss our marriage/relationship issues until there's a problem! (You can see my pessimism here by my use of the word *never*!! )
Hubby took a huge step the other day by, in the midst of a fight, stepping back, taking a breather, sitting down next to me & saying "thanks for dinner, sweetie, it was really good". My first instinct was to say/think "what are you doing? how dare you distract me from my anger!". But, I found a shred of humility somewhere inside, & snuggled into his lap & found something to thank him for.
Poor Pessimistic Girl! She was a casualty of war that night!
I've spent a majority of my days filling them with snarls, fits of anger, small bursts of yelling, searching for shadows & making my home in them. At the end of the day, no one is happy, nurtured, secure, loved, cherished. I, least of all. I'm left with guilt, sadness, loneliness & misery. Up to recently, my hubby would join me in that misery! The old adage is true - misery really does love company! Sadly, it's not satisfied until it manages to hold you captive along with everyone else around you, to some extent or another.
It grieves me that my children have been victims of Pessimistic Girl to this point in their lives.
But, trying to find the smile instead of seeing the tears, I still have time!!!!! I have YEARS/DAYS/HOURS/MOMENTS with my 3 beautiful souls, to see their smiles, to see their stars, to see their sunshine, to be their friend... And, I have a LIFETIME of MOMENTS with hubby! To smile with him (sometimes AT him), to share his sunshine, to watch him chase his stars while he encourages me to chase mine, to be his friend...
When I find a quote that I fall in love with, I type it (in cool colours & fonts), print it & hang it on my fridge!
This one is definitely going there!