Thursday, February 20, 2014

The Healing Letters, Volume 1: Dear Mom

 (Not gonna lie.  This has been saved in 'drafts' for a very long time.  I got to "crippled and extremely damaged" and had to sit with it for a few months and grieve.  I hope that I am ready to press 'publish'.  Here goes.)


Dear Mom,
I want to believe that you did your best in raising me and loving me.  

I want to...

It's just that - your best left me crippled and extremely damaged.

That damaged child became a damaged mother who, in turn, damaged  my own children.  Some days I feel too broken to attempt to heal the brokenness that is evident in my babies.  Some days I feel unable to parent my children in any way other than how I was parented.  And the cycle spins itself into continual useless continuation.  For no other reason than that it is all we know.   

But I know that there is still time.  For my children.  For me.  For you.  For us.  

So, I press on.  I fight.  I cry.  I heal.  I try.  I fail.  I see hope.  I accept.  I acknowledge.  I rejoice at progress, no matter how small.  I mourn.  I grieve.  I feel helpless.  I feel hopeless.  I avoid.  I hide.  I remain disconnected.  I feel guilt.  I get depressed.  I am angry.  I am sad.  I feel fear.  I choose happiness.  I embrace.  I trust.  I am... a mess.

I am fighting an invisible war.  Within myself.  It is not my war.  It is not my fight.  And yet.

I desperately want to show my children their value and open a sacred place for them in my heart, but I was never shown my own value and never offered a sacred place in anyone's heart.  So, I struggle.  To undo a lifetime of wrong so that I can do right for my babes.
I do not hate, though.  I see, I understand that I am where you have been.  I can offer you forgiveness, Mom.  Because I desperately need to be forgiven by my children.  I desperately need to forgive myself.  

And now, as the tears flow, I find a bit more peace.  I make the slightest motion forward.  I carefully reconstruct myself.  And there is hope for all of us.  

I love you, Mom.
Signed,
Your broken, learning to be whole, child


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